There was no light

There was no light at the end; it was a dead end.

“Dead”, huh. Doesn’t sound all that reassuring, now does it? Well, there is certainly nothing reassuring about this story either. Don’t get your hopes up.

He was first and so he was first to break his leg. “Come on, run! Don’t waste your time. Just leave me behind already!” — you already imagined scene like that, so i won’t bother.

I was second and so i knew i was going to be second to fail. Yeah, you figured right, everybody would think like that and every second would also hate those thoughts. Since i was second, i obviously did. But have i got through with it? Funny i can’t remember.

She wasn’t with us from the beginning — we found her hiding in the rubble and reciting strange prayers in a strange language. We didn’t have any words in common and yet she joined us without much thought. Not that any of us should be surprised.

We do understand each other, right?

Long before the leg, he was also first to fight shadows. And also first in fighting them: we presented him with a gold for that.

But you? You’re not first. Neither second, nor third. There is no number to number you in our alphabet. Does it make you happy? Does it make you sad? Does it make you mad?

Sorry, but either way, it never bothered me. Being second, i’ll never understand someone so far out of spectrum.

That short time when we ran together was naturally better part of the run. Even if only an illusion, one sixth more chances of surviving can make for a good heater in the winter. Too bad it was summer all the way.

But was it really short? Who can tell in the dark. If you see the beginning and the end, doesn’t that make it short by itself?

As for the beginning of this end, my memory is shadowed. Why did he enter? Why did i? Was there a choice?

She was also a good fighter and would’ve got her bronze if there would be such metal. But then who do i compare her with? You?

I know you’re boring, so lets revisit finale again. Dead end. Turning back doesn’t look as a viable option. “Just curl up and die already”, you think. DIY.

If there would be something to dig, i would dig it, even though you don’t. But all our shovels were long broken and abandoned and pocket knife isn’t exactly helpful.

Meanwhile the shadows was creeping closer and closer. For some weird reason i was alone with that pocket knife. But there were no grass and no reason to believe in dogs. In the end, there was no light.