caryoscelus:~#

it’s too late to ponder when it started and too personal for this log style to go into all the details . but it has been going on for a while , recently culminating in my laptop breakdown . for a few days until i recovered at least some data (i still hope that backups will pay off and i get all of it , but it’ll take time to figure if they didn’t burn too) and had been able to use borrowed laptop for a little while , i was feeling like all of my life (as caryoscelus) has instantly vanished . this feeling is gone , but i’m still unable to do my usual things – producing music on computer , comfortably hacking code , using highly tuned key combinations to navigate my digital workspace .

i still have to go and code and write to strangers around 0net ‘cause i feel that project has potential to be one of the most important tech things that exist today if only we manage to salvage it (something i shouldn’t have trusted with original dev , something i definitely can’t trust a self-proclaimed heir – nor did i see anything resembling long-term plan from them) . and then there’s tons to do with this legacy codebase that i’m planning to throw away sooner than later , and i have to finance my outside world needs (which can easily contradict doing what’s right about our digital future) , and i have to keep sanity across all of this .

today – or yesterday , depending on your timezone or how you count – i’ve managed to regain a significant part of my sanity thanks to my dear friend , with whom we recorded (live – no real post-processing am i going to be able to do now) an exciting experimental album which i’m going to be posting all over your feeds soon .

that bit of sanity makes me able to write this post – one that i can’t even properly put onto my favourite 0net – because my private keys are still out of reach . on that note i intended to mention for my 0net readers that both zca@zeroid.bit (14BdGcz6puat2Q8GWqgRMC4cSRsxCZJhws) and caryo@zeroid.bit (12uNTY1Fc9V9p7fy394b3bYQ5ykN2Rmp2r) are indeed my (unofficial , as amount of protection is less than perfect) accounts .

back to title – none of the events – not even meaningless bloodshed that can easily reach me directly or indirectly – would probably get me into the little productive and sorrid state should only my bus factor had been higher . that is the lesson i’m taking from this , hopefully one i can still use and one someone else will find compelling .

i’m not saying goodbye – you won’t get rid of me that easily – and in fact i intend to only post more now that the shockwaves have settled somewhat – but i should warn you that i may be disappearing for some periods of time until everything is sorted . and finally i apologize to everyone who counted on me being more of myself and especially the oui themselves members